GCSE Congratulations Cake

GCSE Congratulations Cake

Hi. So yeah, I know what you're thinking: you can't just disappear for a good two or so months and then just show up with chocolate cake, say 'hi' and make it all okay. Well luckily for me, I'm sure you don't follow this avidly anyway. (But if you do-Thank you!) 

Well this cake is where my leave of absence all began. I did get my desired GCSE results; but I must admit one was a short course RE and another was Food Technology..  Anyway: these got me into some crazy competitve-entry grammar school which I have now been attending since September. Since then I have dropped and swapped 5 different subjects and am finally settling into A-levels: as in: accepting that failure and socializing are one-and-the-same and success is incompatible with both.

I am therefore very busy juggling my gazillion lives to the point where I got so tired of laughing off the anguish that I needed a creative outlet (..besides Art AS level...if you do Art AS level you'll understand.) So here I am with this miraculous and arrogantly presumptive cake I baked myself the day before results day!

As always: it's the chocolatecakezilla, only in the latest fashion of a snazzy square. Sadly this cake was cut by one of the few sober friends at my "small results day BBQ" using a steak knife..I'd question her methods and by extent; my previous claim of 'sober', if wasn't simply a story I'd been told by one of my conscious friends. This did, of course, prevent my OCCD (The extra C stands for cake) /army style cake-carving professionalism, and many guests went home cakeless. They did, however return over the proceeding days to stop such injustice quickly: and it proved the perfect behavioural apology token!

Not to mention the enormous chunk left for my days of indulgence: it took a hell of a lot of revision but after having my cake and eating it too (oh and feeling worthy in life and getting into a good school blah blah) I can tell you-it really pays off.

P.S Hold your breath for AS results day-chocolatecakezilla does the trick for celebration; but it was born for commerisation.

Thank You Piano Themed Cake

Thank You Piano Themed Cake

In my opinion, this really isn't one of my best cakes. The design looked much better in my head, there was so much buttercream I think it'll rot teeth, and I paid £14.60 for two small cake tins in a size I didn't realize I already had.

Anyway, part of being a Guru involves admitting your mistakes and taking the positives. This cake was a mistake, but it looked really tasty, and my friend who I asked to hang out with me that day who turned me down, was sadistically tortured with constant photos of her very favourite buttercream. Ha.

It's the colours, I think. I don't like the colour theme. I wanted to make chocolate piano keys, then it would've been fine. Oh well. This is the first time I've piped chocolate decorations and as a 'I'm sorry I know you've been my piano teacher for 9 years but I don't actually like playing it so I'm quitting' it served pretty well, and she was pretty pleased with it. 

You have to admit: it looked like a pretty good sponge, though:

Good luck/we'll miss you leaving cake

                                                    We'll Miss Ewe

Okay, so this pun is appalling, not really that funny the first time round, and even less funny the second way round. As mentioned in previous posts, however, I do not know the person I designed this cake for, and therefore her sense of humour, so I decided to play it safe with the knowledge that she's a primary school teacher and guess at poor and tame and sheep-inclusive. 

I heard she ended up sharing this with her infant-school class and it went down a hit. Not even undercooked-chocolatecakezilla with nutella buttercream swirls has yet to fail me. (The sheep, however, did not make anyone laugh...and I don't think this was because they were a tough crowd...they were five, afterall,)

Cake Edge Design Ideas

Cake Edge Design Ideas 

          As the official owner of an Art GCSE, I enjoy design. When making a cake I probably spend 96% of the time planning and designing it, 1 making it, and 2 photographing it. I am still in the midst of designing the much anticipated results day cake, and find myself inspiration-less for the edging.

As much as I love piping buttercream swirls (Which I also did today making the good luck cake), it's becoming a little predictable, and as the creator of the Shrodinger's cat cake (Which I also found out today, my brother's entire physics class have read the post for...) the Olympic park cake, and many, many animal-themed baked-goods, I'm always up for new ideas.

So, as per usual, I've been scanning Google images and have composed an inspirational list, for the next time I, or any of you (Who I am now very paranoid about could be) just can't think of an edge design.                   

1. Well, of course, buttercream swirls.

                      

2. Cigarellos!

Or... 2.5. similar substitutes.

3. Chocolate shavings!

4. Royal icing patterns...

5. Sweets!

6. Chocolate shards...

...and that's pretty much as far as I've got for now! But unlike the many other posts I edit for misspelling and embarrassment purposes, I will be editing this should I find additions to the list! Feel free to suggest any!

Honest Cakes

                                                              Honest Cakes

It's been a while since I've baked due to my GCSE's. (I haven't actually made a cake since Februrary. *gasp-but-keep-reading*) So I've decided that before I create the result's day BBQ cake I believe, thanks to Facebook (Or a particular user on it) is greatly anticipated so the pressure is on, I need to practice a little bit to get back into old habits (Of being a cake-baking-goddess, or as the page suggests, Guru.). 

This is why I have agreed to bake a cake for some lady at my Mum's work who is leaving, which I am expecting to be below my usual standards but oh well, she's just some lady at my Mum's work who is leaving, after-all. 

As I have mentioned in many previous posts, I like to plan my cakes by initially researching designs already out there. When doing so, I found this:

Now, I may not know who's dead to who or who is hoping who fails, and as much as I partly hoped this cake was a joke, I partly hoped it was truthful. 'Happy Birthday' cakes and 'Congratulations' cakes are all well and good, but let's be honest, they're not exactly one of a kind. I'm starting to wonder if perhaps a more honest and far more insulting cake would be a lot more entertaining.

So I did a little research, and came across some others:

From shocking revelations in regards to animal abuse...

And not so shocking announcements after just a glance at the colour scheme...

                                                                                

Painfully relatable slogans...

Or just painfully honest accusations...

Yet more revelations...













Or perhaps slightly subtler messages... (But an equally offensive implication..I mean quotation marks? Ouch!)

And even fun and games included!

Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that the idea to put brutally honest messages on cakes in order to prioritize humour over empathy, is a pretty good idea. Unfortunately, all those who've known of it have been disgusting weirdos. (These were the tamest ones.)

I therefore vow to take inspiration from these cake messages and adapt them to be offensive only to the recipient, as I, am a tame weirdo. 

Exam Results Cake

                                                           Exam Results Cake

Just a quick update on my life: I dropped out of the trip as the adorable camping cake previously posted was a seriously unrealistic impression, I'm sitting inside all day even though it's a heat wave because I am purple from head to toe with sun-burn, and I find myself befuddled in regards to cake.

So, if you've read my previous posts you will be more than aware that I have spent the past two years completing my GCSEs. Well, this summer on August 22nd I shall see if I spent too much time baking/blogging about it or if the hard work paid off, that's right: Results day. I've been invited on Facebook to a BBQ celebration and in the details it's been specified that apparently, I'm providing the cake.

Now, when I design cakes I like to surf Google for an unnecessary amount of time or possibly Cake Central, too, for some inspiration, as I believe you've seen from my "chocolate pig cake" designing process. For exam results cakes, I can find nothing! I am quite shocked, and as previously expressed, befuddled.

Is the point of cake not celebration? If I am attending an exam results celebration BBQ, then I am in need of an exam results celebration cake! Even Facebook specifies it! So when I make this cake and post it I will do so with the hope that it inspires others to post theirs, too, as there are far too few at the moment.

Nonetheless, here are a few pretty snazzy designs I did find:

This one has owls on it, what's not to love?

Kinda dull, I'll be honest, but well-made and aptaptable...?

Again, well made but it's getting a little same-old isn't it...

I am truly shocked! I've tried typing, "school-themed cake", I've tried, "congratulations cake", "well done cake", "graduation cake" why do scholars not celebrate with cake?! I am going to prove that bakers are academic too!

In the meantime, please send in a pic if you have any I would be more than glad to blog an analysis of how inspiring it is. (The more owls the better.)

Summer is here! Top 10 Summer Cakes!

  Top 10 Summer Cakes

So it's official! The GCSEs are over, the signing off has been signed-off, and it's finally time for Summer! (Sorry those of you who aren't in year 11 or English.)

What better a way to celebrate than with cake?! I haven't actually had the time to make one myself because I've been too busy enjoying the fact that: I NEVER HAVE TO DO PHYSICS AGAIN, but I have composed a wonderful list of smart ideas and snazzy designs for summer-themed cakes! Enjoy!

1. Beach Cake! Check it out: this cake has everything-even edible teddy bears! This design is both smart and adorable as well as summing up what every Brit dreams summer will be like only to be crushed by disappointment in the form of rain and boredom.

2. Camping Cake! On Monday I'm off with an organised charity organisation for 2 weeks' camping. Not only does this cake remind me that 1) I won't be getting any cake I'll be rock climbing instead, but 2) It reminds all you smug hot country sunbathers (You know who you are) that not all of us are so lucky. Love the candle fire idea though!

3. Teddy Bears' picnic cake. Okay, so I've gone overboard on the edible bears but this cake is cute and classic and not quite so un-realistic! After paying a fiver for a maths book I'd lost on signing off day this week I attended a picnic. Okay, I retract the previous statement: there was no blanket and no bears and not really much food...and I ended up spending half an hour crouching in a ditch opposite a bee hive. You'd think by sixteen you'd be over risking stings for hide and seek but hey, a sixteen year old who likes bears this much is clearly out of the ordinary!

4. Paddling pool cake! Honestly, I find this cake really creepy. I think it's the baby barbies that remind me of those disturbing child's beauty pageants. Nonetheless, everyone loves that classic barbie in a cake skirt style so why not drown her cake too! I'm mostly into this one for the convenience of the circle shape and the lovely, realistic texture of the pool.

5. I would firstly like to apologize for including this cake, and then for ranking it so high. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. It has that adorable stupidity you find in all the dorky rom-com love interests. Beach balls are a pretty important part of summer after all.

....and of course, the slightly less quirky but equally relevant beach ball cake pops!

6. Shark infested water cake! Yet again, I realize the stupidity and novelty, but I can't help but love it. (I'd upgrade to a sea monster next time, though.)

7. Water slide cake! Yet again, a water-themed cake, I'll probably go swimming twice this summer but this is not reality-this is cake.

(And this cake has made an excellent use of texture.)

8. Ice cream cake. A little more realistic seeing as these are available all year round, regardless of the weather, and let's not deny, a pretty cool design. (Get it?)

9. The flip flop cake. Novelty, pretty and let's face it-so simple. You could do this in any design you wanted and let's not lie, it's ameture friendly and definitely summer-themed.

10. Seashell cake! Last but not least, it's a pretty incredible design. Not too sure if all could attempt it but you cannot deny-it looks amazing and it's very, very summery. (Personally though, I'd improve it with a touch of those irresistible Guylians.)

So there you have it! The top ten summer cakes of 2013 in my (Very uneducated and irrelevant) opinion! 

They're snazzy, cute, and they look delicious, let's be honest now though, they aren't a true representation of a British summer. If I do get the time before my trip, perhaps an umbrella cake, television cake, or straight-faced smiley cake is in order. Hooray for 8 weeks of freedom!

How to make modelling chocolate/chocolate fondant roses! No fancy tools required!

                                                   Modelling Chocolate Roses

Also for part of my GCSE course, the paste I showed you how to make yesterday, I later used to make modelling chocolate roses as a development decoration for my chocolate pavlova!

Now I don't know what cake fanatic hasn't seen fondant/chocolate/some other form of decoration paste roses before, and as a cake fanatic myself, I am beyond experienced in seeing them too. I have, however, only tried this once as was always to scared to attempt these seemingly intricate and complicated decorations. This is not true! They are beyond simple, quick and easy to make, and please ignore all the suggested tools-you can make them by hand, from scratch, in no time.

1.So! Starting with your hand-made (Or shop-bought if you haven't read my last post) modelling chocolate or paste of some kind, roll it out on a surface dusted with icing powder to approximately a 1cm thickness.

2. Then cut out some small random, approximately somewhere between a square, a circle and a semi circle type shapes. (The size depends on how big you want your rose to be.)

3. Then shape them into approximate petal shapes! Think very, very undefined semi circle!

4. Fold your petal into a loose roll.

                        

5. Shape the next petal and wrap it around the first.

6. Repeat!

7. Keep repeating until you're happy with your rose!

 8. And there you have it!